Angel of Death
by IChallengeYouToABattleOfWits
Summary: Jo is in a car accident that almost kills her, and puts her in a coma. Alex is beside himself with grief, blaming himself for what happened to her.


When I was a kid, I used to like swimming. Before my first foster family died, they used to take me swimming in the lake near our house. I remember it like a dream. I used to dive under the water and stop swimming so I could just float. When I would float back to the surface, I'd take a breath and do it again. The water was so dark and silky and cool. I could just close my eyes and be surrounded by it. It's hazy, but I remember that feeling of utter… being. You get to step away from the world, from all the bullshit that gets in the way of what's really important. We can connect to ourselves, our deepest thoughts. The parts of us yet to be tainted by the outside world. I guess it's like that now. Only, instead of floating I'm being held under by the hands of Death himself.

It's weird to step back from the world once you're so caught up in it. It stops seeming real. Watching a scene unfold around you. There is a man. A man with the face of an angel, and with wings of death. He is strong and soft. He is warm like sunshine, and smells of lavender. Instinctively, I go toward him. His arms are open as if to embrace we when I get there, but before I reach him the warmth starts melting, the floor begins to fall away. And I'm standing in a street. A familiar street. With a car. A red car. The car isn't on the road where it should be. It is in a ditch. It is dark, but the head lights are on. I suppose I should be running, trying to help, but I feel so… calm.

Smoke from the car is clouding my vision, but I can make out the broken glass, the brown hair, the red. As I walk around to the diver's side door, an ambulance comes screaming around the curb of the desolate street. Before the ambulance has even full stopped, a man leaps out, as if hurling himself into the arms of danger. Though he is the first one out, other's quickly follow. I am pushed back and there is a brief chaos. People are yelling, there is a stretcher, the jaws of life, the door is off, the girl is out, and- The girl is familiar. I reach up and touch my hair. The same hair as the girl's. I look down at my shirt. It is the same blue as the girl's shirt. I raise my wrist to see the same plain watch as on the girl's wrist.

My mind doesn't seem to know what this means. Like it is something I can't quiet put my finger on. Like there is something I was supposed to know, some where I was supposed to be. The man is pushing on my chest, kissing me. Another man in doing something to my arm. My arm. That's me.

I remember everything. Being in the car, not being able to go fast enough, running, trying to get away, crying. I can't see, I couldn't see! The doe ran out in front of me before I saw her. I remember flying. I knew what was happening. And I was okay with it. I had nothing else to live for after all. Maybe I'd see my parents again. Maybe this is what I always wanted. Everything hurt. And then it didn't anymore.

Time has passed. I don't know how much. I am always asleep. All the time. A dreamless sleep. He is with me. He cries for me and holds me and tells me he loves me. I love him too, I just wish I remembered who he was. I wish I could ask him. I think his name is Alex. It sounds right. Alex. I have dreams of us. Him. His smile, his laugh, his mocking tone. His tears. My head on his heaving chest laying in a warm bed as it rains. His protective arms wrapped around around me, kissing my head. I wish I could wake up. For him. So I could tell him that his words where not in vain. So I could thank him.

I guess that's just wishful thinking. I've over heard the others. The numbers, the probabilities, the options. That I'm not going to wake up. I'm never going to wake up.

"Jo," his voice breaks. "I.. I can't do this without you. Please don't leave me. Please don't," he cries, voice shaking. "Don't leave me. Jo… Please… Please wake up… Jo," his voice is getting louder. I want to tell him that I will. That I love him and I will wake up. "Damn it Jo! Wake up! Don't leave me!" Something hits the floor and shatters. Shoes hit the tile floor, running. Voices are many. Someone is screaming. Something else hits the floor. I can't leave him. I can't leave. I don't want to leave. I try desperately to move. I try harder than I have ever tried.

A bright white image begins coming into focus. At first it hurts. The light is blinding. I see a picture I can't make sense of. A picture of an upside down white world. I see people. People in blue and white. People in blue and white who are holding a man who is rugged, dirty and skinny. A man who looks like he gave up on living a long time ago. Alex. They are all looking at me. As if I've shocked them in someway. Stunned. Alex shakes off the two women in blue and runs to me, leaping onto the bed and taking my face in his hands.

"Jo?" he whispers. A smile tugs at his lips and crinkles his eyes. One woman is smiling, holding another woman who is crying. Someone is yelling, and people are flooding the room, cheering and crying. People I know. People I love.

I try to nod, to tell him yes! Yes it's me! I try to speak, only to begin choking. Alex's face switches to a look of concern, and he begins pulling tape off my face. I start to panic when I realize I can't breathe through my mouth, and then there is an uncomfortable pulling. And then a release. I suck in big gulps of air through my mouth, but before I can really catch my breath Alex's lips are pressed hard to mine, his taste mixing with the saltiness of his tears. His lips are soft, his face prickly, his hands calloused and gentle. He pulls back and begins laughing, looking into my eyes before smashing his lips back onto mine. It's perfect. And it's not real.


End file.
